I'm an alien

And I tell myself to keep holding on.

7:44 PM DEPRESSED!

I thought today was going to be a GREATTTT day
But no,it turned out the opposite
Because I had to be backstage all the while
NICE,JUST NICE
My boredom brought tears
And killed my apetite
Backstage-ing was shit I swear
Had to give the cues to the artists
Namely, Imran, Rauzan, Sleeq
Deputy Siren as well
And not forgetting my only company, Mizan
HILARIOUS!
Two HOTHOTHOT guys,I swear I could melt
HAHAHA,but still,I'm not opened yet
Took a photo with them too
THANKS ABANG ZUL
Mummy just had to spoil my night further
By screaming at me, and thus,I decided to not go
I guess it must be the common test results
PFFT:/
I wanted to go,so much,I know I don't have much time left
DONT ASK WHAT I JUST SAID
So overall, the anniversary was GOOD but being backstage for 4 bloody hours was
HORRIBLE!!!!!


It seems that I'm missing you,even though we meet up quite often these days
And yes,I miss you and it's hurting more and more
I didn't feel welcomed around there, I knew there was something wrong
But then, I respect your decision, thus I just kept quiet
I am in no position to forbid or advise you
I would just like to tell you something:
I LOVE YOU<3

My eyes are painful too
My heart aches even more


I loved you,I still do


edit/
Yes mummy&daddy,
I really hope you would read this.
And the only person who knows a lot about my family is Fadhillah.
But now,I decide to tell everyone how my family is like.

I have a patient dad,but he's scared of my mum. If mummy says No,
He'll sayt no to me as well. If mummy is badmooding, he'll just leave her alone.
My mummy has a totally different character from my dad. And looks UNLIKE my
Sister and I. Sometimes, I really wonder, is that my real mummy? She's no doubt, strict,
Gives harsh comments to little kids like my sister, puts immense pressure on me, treats me
Like I'm not there, and dotes on my sis,DUH. One smartass with a squiggly handwriting.
My sis is quiet, and childish. I hope she'll grow up in her thinking one day, very much.

To mummy and daddy:
I never wished I was born like that
I never wished I was born ill
Or with many medical problems
I never wished I was born an idiot who never manages to please you academically
I always wished I would get straight As
I never wished I was a person who commits many sins
I never wished to be who I am
I never wished I'm born like that
Yes,I never wished for everything that's bad and happens to me.

So mummy, I'm very sorry about the 2 C6s,it's not like I can help it
Combined humans is totally NOT me
And what the hell is wrong with getting a LOW A1?
At least, I know I tried my best
And daddy, I know I am quite wild
But I do listen and obey
Though sometimes, I really want to go/do something
But if it's against your wishes, then i'll stop
Have you ever wondered how it feels to have a problematic child,in terms of discipline?
Have you ever wondered how you'll feel if I were to slam the door right in your face
Scream in front of you
Or even run away from home?
No right? And now, if you happen to read this,you shall realise
Have you ever thanked God you have a rude, but obedient child who never think of
Leaving you stranded in an old folks' home to spent your golden years?
Have you? Have you?
If I didn't care about your feelings, it would be a long time that I ran away from home
Do you know how much pain I suffer in obeying you?
How much heartache I bear?
I know I shouldn't be saying this, but I just have to rant out
It's better than passing of as lying about the "happiness" of my family
I hope you'll read this mummy&daddy.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!


I finally realise how much I miss our late night calls my dear.